Unsolicited Marital Advice for a Future Groom
Our own Colin Newby, who coordinates a lot of our online content and quality control, made the smart decision to get engaged this past weekend. From now until he ties the knot, he’s going to receive a lot of unsolicited marital advice. That’s my particular specialty, so I thought I would share a few marital insights from my 22 years of experience.
Marriage is NOT 50/50
Legendary NFL Head Coach Dan Reeves shared that piece of marital advice with me before my wedding in 2002. He told me that anyone who tells you marriage is 50/50 is lying to you. It’s 100/100. If both parties aren’t completely committed, they will fall apart at the first sign of trouble.
Ignore the “don’t go to bed angry” nonsense.
This runs in tandem with the first tip. To set an expectation that you will NEVER go to bed angry is ridiculous. There will be times where both parties will want to strangle the other. It’s OK. You’re human. The key is not to use childish tactics like storming out, slamming doors, or the silent treatment. Sometimes a good “exchange of ideas” can create positive change.
There is no such thing as a perfect marriage.
If you watch the marriage of another couple on social media, you tend to see the beautiful moments. Unfortunately, life is what happens between social media posts. If you aspire for perfection, I’ll guarantee that you fail. If you instead try to make your marriage better as you learn to grow together, it will be quite admirable.
Marriage is better in bad times.
I know that this will sound crazy, but knowing that you have someone who would get in a bar fight for you when facing the challenges of life it is reassuring. I learned this first hand fighting cancer last year. You will find that a great spouse shows how they would sacrifice anything for you.
Don’t refer to each other as Mom or Dad.
You married the love of your life, but when children come along, the roles change. The way you address each other doesn’t have to. There is nothing sexy about a child in conversation referring to their mom or dad. It’s an image none of us need. She’s not your mom, so don’t call her that.
Refer to her as your bride.
I had a neighbor who was married over 50 years who offered me this advice. If you call her your bride you will always remember the beautiful image of her on your wedding day. You don’t have to use it all the time, but it’s special and it does work.
CONGRATULATIONS, COLIN
Your friends at 97.5 The Fanatic wish you a lifetime of happiness!
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