The John Kincade Show “Race of the Century”
A stupid bar room question; “If you could fight a bear or a gorilla who would you chose?” Led to two members of the John Kincade show racing their hearts out in a 40 yard dash. Lets go back a week and a half ago.
With John Kincade on vacation the show was helmed by Bob Cooney, Jamie Lynch and Pat Egan. Pat had noticed a video that Jamie had retweeted of a guy pointing out what ACTUALLY happens when a guy gets together with his friends. The man in the video was pointing out that when guys get together its way less about trying to get with women and way more about S*** talk, and stupid debates. One of the debates was “If you, and 2 other people could team up and had to fight a bear or a gorilla, who would you chose and why?”
All three members of the show agreed that the bear was the choice. But at the end of the segment Egan stated “If the bear starts chasing us I don’t have to be faster than the bear, I just have to be faster than you two jagaloons.” And That didn’t sit well with Jamie Lynch. Jamie took offense, saying that he could beat Egan in a 40 yard dash and a race was on.
It was set to go down the next day. After the show the two would put to rest the age old debate of “Who on the John Kincade show would end up getting mauled by a kodiak because they were slower than the other member of the show.” Its a debate as old as time. The sports radio version of “what came first? The chicken or the egg?” But we were finally going to get some closure……or so we thought.
The next day Jamie came in and said he couldn’t race. His claim was he stubbed his toe so badly “I was seeing stars.”…..I’ll give you a minute to process that claim. Jamie’s story was that while walking with his daughter down the street his phone was buried in his face. And when he saw Adrian Wojnarowski drop a “Woj grenade” that Jonas Valanciunas was getting traded it threw Jamie into a fluster. After all, its not everyday that JONAS VALANCIUNAS gets traded.
Jamie claimed he stubbed his toe on the curb and thus couldn’t race. But he only told Bob, not Pat, and his toe looked perfectly fine. Jamie was getting called a “coward” and his reputation was suffering. People were talking far and wide that Jamie Lynch “didn’t want the smoke” as the kids say. Jamie claimed poppycock and simply asked that the race be backed up a week. This gave Jamie a chance to test the toe by golfing every single day to build up strength.
Most of the money was on Egan. 89% of the public money was on Egan, even though the little guy told folks “Im not that fast.” The tale of the tape was quite lopsided. Pat Egan stood at 5’3 and weighed in at a hefty 148 pounds (he certainly gained the Covid-19) while Lynch measured in at 6’2 and tipped the scales at 220. And that 220 wasnt muscle. It was boujee food and IPA’s.
In front of a raucous crowd of 4 employees that wanted an excuse to get out of the office the two men stepped to the line…. Heres how it played out
🐻RACE OF THE CENTURY🐻
— The John Kincade Show (@975JKShow) August 3, 2021
Two jagaloons in a quest to find out “who would be mauled by a bear because one were slower than the other”
Find out who wins between @Pat_Egan and @jelynchjr pic.twitter.com/Q1PwdENwrS
So there you have it. Jamie seemed to struggle with the start, but lost by a scooter length. Jamie was asked if he wanted to run it again because he was whining pointing out that Bob’s “ready, set, go” wasn’t up to his standards but Jamie declined. He took his loss like a man, and was figuratively mauled by a bear like Leo in “The Revenant.”
Until the next challenge…
