A Love Letter To The Best Bad Football Movie Ever: Draft Day

The year is 2014. I just settled in to watch Kingsmen and the trailers start. And its a sports movie....about the NFL draft. It was creatively called "Draft Day" and it looked incredibly bad.

I even remember saying aloud "my god that movie looks atrocious!" But then fast forward to August on a random tuesday night after the Phillies had gotten schellacked and there I am watching a 10:45 showing of draft day. Total hypocrite move. But little did I know that when I bought the movie ticket, I just paid $8.50 to watch the BEST bad football movie Ive ever watched.

Lets break down this movie like Im Mel Kiper breaking down tape of a QB from North Texas.

Draft Day follows around the Cleveland Browns and their GM Sonny Weaver Jr. Weaver is running the Browns and is being heavily criticized because he fired the legendary coach of the Browns (who recently passed away) who was his own father. On top of that, the owner of the Browns drags Sonny to a water park demanding he make a "splash"....at a water park. GENIUS!

Sonny had gotten a call earlier in the day from the Seahawks who owned the #1 pick. But Sonny scoffed at the offer. Now with demands from the owner, and sports radio callers wondering how much time he has left at the job, he decides to take Seattle up on their offer. Only the offer changed, and Sonny gives in. He trades his first round picks for the next 3 years, moving from pick 7.

This move was done for Wisconsin cant miss quarterback Bo Callahan. But as the day goes on Sonny starts to question if Bo is the right guy for the job. Eventually when the Browns are on the clock, he shocks the world drafting Ohio State LB Vontae Mack, a player he easily couldve gotten at 7. Sonny is ripped to shreds

But just when everyone thinks Sonny Weaver Jr. is the biggest idiot of all time (he is by the way, Im getting to that)

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Because when the Browns passed on the golden boy other teams started to get concerned that there was a video of Callahan with a gas mask on. Suddenly hes sliding and it looks like the Seahawks are going to end up with Callahan AND the Browns #1 picks for the next 3 years at 7

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Sonny takes advantage of the new GM of the Jaguars. And since the Jags are gonna Jags, he bullies the kid into trading him pick 6 for 3 second round picks over the next 3 seasons. Telling the GM "itll give you time to regroup." and the kid took it. Weaver then gets the Seahawks on the phone and swaps pick 6 for pick 7 BUT he gets ALL of his picks he originally traded to the Seahawks AND DAVID F#$%ING PUTNEY! (a special teamer.)

The Browns draft Florida State RB Ray Jennings with the 7th overall pick. A great back who is the son of a Browns legend but has some character flaws. Dont worry, he called Sonny and apologized for those and even said he WANTED to be a Brown. Who can deny a young man that wish? Sonny Weaver is lauded!

First of all, the year this movie came out, Seattle had won the Super Bowl. So Im sitting there watching the best team in football with the first overall pick. Cmon writers! Do your research. But the trade itself wasnt that awful. Its a lot to give up, but the fact that Sonny Weaver Jr. made this trade not knowing 100% that he was going to take Bo Callahan is a move that even Howie Roseman thinks is stupid.

The first chink in Bo Callahan's armour came when Vontae Mack told Sonny to "watch the tape again" and suddenly Sonny notices that Bo gets skittish anytime Mack rushes in. Now Mack had four sacks in the game, so who could blame Bo for being skittish because his offensive line didnt show up that day. But the Cleveland Browns front office is "combing" over their Bo Callahan research and NO ONE noticed this? No one? They were too busy pointing out all the women Bo Callahan got, but not his one bad game (a game he won.) No wonder the Browns are a dumpster fire.

But this wasnt the only knock on Bo. Sonny sends a private investigator after Bo at the last second. And boy did this guy, in all of about 12 hours, find some stuff. You ready for this? NONE OF HIS TEAMMATES CAME TO THE KIDS BIRTHDAY PARTY." You read that correct. GIANT red flag.....uh huh. Sonny even called the head coach of Wisconsin and basically gets laughed off the phone for suggesting that NONE of the 90 players at Wisconsin said "yea, im not doing anything Saturday. Ill go to Benihana with the future first overall pick."

But then there was the lie. Bo Callahan becomes the first quarterback to lie to a team when a team did the ol Randall Cunningham idea of taping a $100 bill to the back of a playbook. This allows the team to ask "did you read the whole playbook" and if they mention the $100 bill then the team "knows" the guy isnt lying. But Bo never mentioned the $100. Forgetting to mention it. And when the topic was brought up he laughed it off and said "oh yea, good one guys."

This isnt proof that he lied. The kids about to be a millionaire, what does he care about one Ben Franklin staring back at him? But it gets worse for Bo. Because ONE player actually mailed the $100 BACK to the team and said "save it for when I win you the Super Bowl." And that quarterback was none other than injury prone, mid round pick....Brian Drew.

So combine all of this information, and Sonny decided that Bo Callahan was a bust. Picking a guy he couldve gotten at 7, all because in the morning he wrote on a post it note "Vontae Mack No Matter WHAT!" Oh, and mortgaging the future of the franchise on top of it. He then COMPLETELY lucks out because apparently NO TEAM thought to trade up for, at the time, the best quarterback to come out since Andrew Luck. Every NFL team thought "well if the Browns passed on him then he MUST be a bust..." because, ya know, the NFL always follows the lead of the Browns.

The fact is, in 1000 times out of 1000 the way this REALLY plays out is Sonny drafts Vontae Mack AND THE VERY NEXT TEAM takes Bo Callahan. There is no slide. There is no absurd trade with the Jaguars. Ray Jennings goes to another team. Sonny Weaver Jr is (RIGHTFULLY) mocked and ridiculed as arguably the worst general manager in NFL history.

The Browns go into the season with mediocre injury prone (but hey, guys got the heart of a lion and you cant teach that) quarterback Brian Drew. The Browns finish 2-14 because they have no running game, no offensive line. And of course, no David Putney. Mack looks like the real deal, but Bo Callahan goes on to win offensive Rookie of the Year and Mack is always punished for being taken by an idiot. Sonny is fired at the end of the season.

Sonny Weaver is basically the real life story of Bill O'Brien.

Draft Day is so bad its good. The acting is horrible. This movie took competent actors and made them look BAD (looking at you Dennis Leary.) its incredible cheesy. And yet every single draft day I make some sort of "Vontae Mack No MATTER WHAT!" joke. The script is painful, but in a "car crash that I cant look away" sort of way.

Let me be clear. Draft Day is not a good movie. But instead its an INCREDIBLE bad movie. When its on, im watching it. I live for Sonny Weaver Jr lucking his way to a LB, a RB, and a special teamer that is made out to be Devin Hester and Donte Hall all rolled up into one. I get hung up on Jennifer Garner being so eager to talk football. And I get engrossed in the head coach pulling a Chip Kelly and trying to finagle a trade to Buffalo behind Sonny's back because the coach realizes that Sonny is a moron.

I have ripped this movie to shreds, but its all out of love. Because if I can find this many faults (and believe it or not, I could go on. I have more) and still love it, than its the sign of something special.

VONTAE. MACK. NO MATTER WHAT.

The NFL Draft now begins in less than a week. There is a lot of intrigue about what happens at the top of the draft at the quarterback spot, with only Caleb Williams seeming to be a lock at #1. McCarthy started in the 20s on most mock drafts, and he has risen throughout the process without taking a snap. Could 4 QBs go in the top 5? How many go in the 1st round?

The Eagles have gone over 20 years without taking a cornerback in the 1st round, but the draft is deep at that position. Offensive and defensive lines are both positions of need to go with linebacker, safety, tight end, and slot WR. Howie Roseman has had a lot of success drafting along the offensive line as we know, another deep position in this draft, but has struggled taking defensive players historically.

Fletcher Cox was the last defensive Pro Bowl player drafted in the 1st round by the Eagles. Are Carter and/or Davis ready to play at that level?

The Eagles’ curse of the 20’s could also be in play this year. Danny Watkins the firefighter was pick 23 in 2011, Marcus Smith was 26 in 2014, Nelson Agholor (who did have 1 good year) was pick 20 in 2015, Andre Dillard (who was traded and has since been cut by the Titans) was pick 22 in 2019, and Jalen Reagor was pick 21 in 2020.

We know who pick 22 was in that draft. Do you trust Howie Roseman to make a good pick at 22 overall? It has been the danger zone for Howie in the past. Should they move up in the draft to get out of the danger zone? Will Howie listen to input from his new offensive and defensive coordinators, or will he be acting alone on Thursday night?

Williams, the former Heisman Trophy winner, is a generational talent despite some struggles in 2023. He was put in a terrible spot at USC by a nonexistent defense, and still managed 30 passing TDs to just 5 interceptions. The Bears have added talent to their roster and traded Justin Fields, so this pick is already done.

The 2023 Heisman Trophy winner had an incredible year passing for over 3800 yards and rushing for over 1,000. Nobody raised their stock more during the Covid year than him. Daniels seems to have passed Drake Maye in the eyes of Washington due to his elite athleticism and ball placement, which is said to be the best in the draft.

Maye was very productive at North Carolina over his two years as a starter throwing for just under 8,000 yards and 62 touchdowns. The Patriots have moved on from Mac Jones. They badly need a QB. There is a chance that J.J. McCarthy is the pick as well as he rises up many draft boards.

Local product Harrison Jr is the best overall player in the draft. He has everything you want in a wide receiver. 2024 is a deep wideout draft and he is head and shoulders better than every one of them. Barring injury, he is the safest pick in the draft, with his floor being a perennial 1,000-yard guy.

The Vikings trade up to take McCarthy before the Giants & is the 4th one taken in the 1st 5 picks. McCarthy has shot up draft boards. McCarthy will have a great duo at WR right away in Justin Jefferson and Jordan Addison. The Vikings may need to trade up to get him.

The Giants badly need a QB. They also must give Daniel Jones or whoever starts in 2024 more weapons. Their offense scored the 4th fewest touchdowns in the NFL. Nabers had over 1500 yards in 2023 with 14 total touchdowns. The Giants get to fill an important need at 6th overall.

There are 4 different candidates to be the 1st offensive tackle taken in this year’s draft. Alt seems to have separated from the pack. Alt moves very well & is towering at 6’8”. Alt also allowed just 4 sacks in 36 starts while in college.

This is not a great year for pass rushers, but the Falcons would be delighted if the best one fell to them at number 8. Turner has the build of the modern pass rusher with the frame to add more muscle. He had a career high 10 sacks at Alabama this year. He is just 21 years old with a ton of upside.

In many seasons, Odunze would be the top WR the draft. He followed up his 1100+ yard season is 2022 with a 1640-yard season in 2023. This year he’s 3rd, but that isn’t an indictment on his ability. Odunze should be lethal in the red zone because he is tall at 6’3”, and high points the ball well. Caleb Williams will have a great young WR from day 1.

Fashanu is another candidate to be the 1st offensive tackle taken in the draft. The junior was just Rimington–Pace Offensive Lineman of the Year in 2023. He will improve as a pro as his technique improves. Will also put more strength on his 6’6” 317 lb. frame.

Latham is the 3rd tackle on the board and gave up 0 sacks in 3 years at Alabama. He is massive at 360 lbs but carries the weight well. Harbaugh is a guy who believes in working from inside the trenches 1st. With Herbert’s injury history, they will be happy to get a tackle of his quality while picking up extra draft capital.

Bowers has the potential to truly be a weapon in the NFL. He is likely the 3rd cleanest prospect in the draft behind Marvin Harrison Jr, and Caleb Williams, with the only knock being the games he missed in 2023. He is a two-time Mackey award winner as the best tight end in the country. Bowers knows how to find the end zone with 31 touchdowns in his 3 years in Georgia. The Broncos love McCarthy, but with him gone they go best player available.

In mock draft 2.0, I had Mitchell going to the Eagles who would trade up to 16, he has since continued to rise on most boards and seems solidified as the #1 corner in a deep corner draft. He has the best combination of size, speed, and tape of everyone in this class, and he isn’t afraid of contact. Mitchell played off coverage a lot at Toledo but showed strong press skills at the Senior Bowl.

Fautanu was excellent at Washington as their explosive offense landed them in the national title game. He has very good technique and moves very well. The only real negative is he is “only” 6’4” and that would cause some teams to want to move him to guard. I think the Saints keep him at tackle.

Arnold and his teammate Kool-Aid McKinstry were both excellent on the Alabama team that made the playoff and ended Georgia’s long undefeated streak. He was a 5-star prospect who lived up to the hype. He had 5 interceptions last season and should be a day 1 starter. If the Eagles are thinking corner, they may have to trade up to get the one they most covet.

Just like in Mock Draft 2.0, I have the Eagles trading up, but this time it is for an offensive lineman who will eventually replace Lane Johnson. Howie Roseman went on and on about how valuable it is for young players to see how guys prepare. Fuaga moves really well and may be able to compete with Tyler Steen at guard as well. I think the Eagles address CB in round 2.

The other LSU WR comes off the board here to helps save Doug Pederson after the Jags offense took a big step back last year. Thomas is very tall at 6’5” and had 17 touchdowns last season to go with over 1,100 yards. Trevor Lawrence will be better right away with Thomas out there.

The Bengals must do a better job protecting Joe Burrow who had an injury riddled season in 2023. Guyton is a very good pass blocker that was only held back at Oklahoma by injuries after transferring from TCU. While Guyton needs works in the run game, the Bengals are built to pass, and he would start in day 1.

Murphy II is the best interior defensive lineman in the draft. He was productive at Texas and was a part of the recruiting class that brought them back to the CFB playoff. A 3-year starter with a high motor, the only negative about him as a prospect is that is he only 297 lbs. Murphy will have huge shoes to fill in LA.

Barton is the 1st “center” to be drafted in the 1st round. Barton has shot up most boards lately after an impressive pro day. He has passed Jackson Powers-Johnson as the top interior lineman. Barton has enough versatility to play guard, and after starting at center as a freshman, he started at LT the last 3 years.

Many Eagles fans took Latu off the board here because he aspires to be a firefighter. The thing to watch with him is the medical report. He retired from the sport due to a neck injury but returned to be dominant at UCLA. He has 13.5 sacks in 2023 & some say his pass-rush skills are the best in the draft. He will help the Dolphins if he is healthy.

Wiggins is tall at 6’2”, and the biggest risk-taking corner in the draft. He was 1st team All ACC both of the last two seasons. He would strive early in a man scheme, with work to be done in zone coverage. The biggest knock-on Wiggins is his size. He weighed only 173 lbs at the combine on 6’2”.

The Vikings get an upside guy at tackle at pick 23. Mims did not start much at Georgia but is 6’7” with a 7’1” wingspan with speed and power. The right team and the right situation could bring out a diamond. A dome will only enhance his athleticism.

Dak Prescott is not the answer at QB for Dallas anymore, & they have cap trouble. The only weakness in Penix Jr’s game is injuries. He is an elite deep-ball passer and does great things within the pocket. He is experienced but wouldn’t be asked to play right away. Penix Jr would replace Dak in 2025.

DeJean is coming off a broken leg, and that could keep him from climbing in the draft. Dejean can start at outside corner, slot corner, and safety. While the Iowa offense has been abysmal, they have won because of a defense that is usually full of pros. When healthy he is a very good player.

It feels weird to have a player as productive as Verse fall to this spot. He transferred to Florida State after starting his college career at Albany (he won CAA defensive rookie of the year). Verse had 9 sacks each of the last 2 years and could have added more if Jordan Travis didn’t get injured. That injury cost Verse and the Seminoles a chance at the playoff.

Powers-Johnson is one of the best interior linemen in the country and was part of the Ducks’ dominant front. The Cardinals feel like a great fit here, after adding Harrison Jr earlier in the year. He should be versatile enough to kick out to guard as well.

The Bills managed to repeat as Super Bowl champs despite major deficiency at the wide receiver position. Worthy cut his drops in half last year, which will need to continue in the cold weather. The Bills window stays open as long as Josh Allen is there, Worthy could help them finally break through.

This pick is the one I have the least confidence in because Robinson ran a sub 4.5 40 at the combine. He could go higher. His production does come close to his skillset though. Robinson had just 11.5 sacks in his college career. The lack of production is concerning, but the tools are there to be a special player.

The Ravens defense adds another dynamic player with a great pedigree. McKinstry has good size at 6’1” and 195 lbs. and has shown quality closing speed. He was excellent on special teams at Alabama as well. A Jones fracture is part of the reason he will be available at 30, but he should be good to go by training camp.

Trent Williams will be 36 this summer, and while he is still playing at a high level, it makes sense for the defending NFC champs to get reinforcements in the trenches. Morgan tore his ACL in 2022 but came back and played extremely well for an Arizona team that exceeded expectations in 2023. Some of his mechanics caused some penalties, but that should be able to be remedied at the NFL level.

Coleman is another big productive receiver who should be built to play in cold weather. While not a burner, he doesn’t need a ton of separation to make plays. The Chiefs struggled at WR last year, and Rashee Rice has gotten in trouble in the offseason. Coleman will at minimum be a good red-zone threat.