‘Twas the day before Harden, and all throughout Philly,

The people were betting, “man, he might drop a milli”

The odds were all posted, the lines leaned their way

In hopes that The Beard was in Philly to stay

The pundits were arguing; critiques being said

But not a bad thought crossed into Sixers fans’ heads

The trade was completed, the deed, it was done

And later tonight he would don #1

When out in the streets there arose such a clatter

I sprang from my South Philly row home to see what was the matter

Away to the window I flew like a flash

Could it be Philly Elmo, drumming up some more cash?

With the rain trickling down, south 4th seemed aglow,

The traffic moving as slowly as a Jalen Hurts throw

When what to my wondering eyes should appear?

But a wondrous man with an incredible beard

With a stepback jumper that could leave nets in flames

I knew in a moment it had to be James

More rapid than eagles (that’s the actual line, go birds) his teammates they came

And he whistled and shouted and called them by name:

Now Joel! Now Tobi! Now Georges and Tyrese!

On Furkan! On Danny! On Paul and Matisse!

To the top of the conference! To the top of the league!

They climbed and they climbed with impossible speed!

The offense was churning, the points came in bunches,

The moves the man made ate everyones’ lunches

And the Embeast, who for months had dragged them along

Grew even more scary; grew even more strong

The spacing unbelievable, the jumpers so wet

Harden and Embiid hardly broke a sweat

And with each passing moment, and each Maxey drive

Every person in Philly forgot 25

Or 10, or whatever number he wears

He was gone from this city, leaving us without cares

I was dragged from my daydream, by a friend’s raucous call

“It’s time to tip off, they’re about to play ball!”

It was time for the Sixers to make it come true

Games to be won, a title to pursue

From East to the West teams stood in their way

But the man with the beard was ready to play

And I heard him exclaim, as they started that fight,

Happy Harden day to all, and to all a good night!