‘Twas the day before Harden, and all throughout Philly,
The people were betting, “man, he might drop a milli”
The odds were all posted, the lines leaned their way
In hopes that The Beard was in Philly to stay
The pundits were arguing; critiques being said
But not a bad thought crossed into Sixers fans’ heads
The trade was completed, the deed, it was done
And later tonight he would don #1
When out in the streets there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my South Philly row home to see what was the matter
Away to the window I flew like a flash
Could it be Philly Elmo, drumming up some more cash?
With the rain trickling down, south 4th seemed aglow,
The traffic moving as slowly as a Jalen Hurts throw
When what to my wondering eyes should appear?
But a wondrous man with an incredible beard
With a stepback jumper that could leave nets in flames
I knew in a moment it had to be James
More rapid than eagles (that’s the actual line, go birds) his teammates they came
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name:
Now Joel! Now Tobi! Now Georges and Tyrese!
On Furkan! On Danny! On Paul and Matisse!
To the top of the conference! To the top of the league!
They climbed and they climbed with impossible speed!
The offense was churning, the points came in bunches,
The moves the man made ate everyones’ lunches
And the Embeast, who for months had dragged them along
Grew even more scary; grew even more strong
The spacing unbelievable, the jumpers so wet
Harden and Embiid hardly broke a sweat
And with each passing moment, and each Maxey drive
Every person in Philly forgot 25
Or 10, or whatever number he wears
He was gone from this city, leaving us without cares
I was dragged from my daydream, by a friend’s raucous call
“It’s time to tip off, they’re about to play ball!”
It was time for the Sixers to make it come true
Games to be won, a title to pursue
From East to the West teams stood in their way
But the man with the beard was ready to play
And I heard him exclaim, as they started that fight,
Happy Harden day to all, and to all a good night!