The NFL draft is on Thursday and with it comes a lot of breakdowns of prospects from people you didn’t even know existed. As soon as the Eagles take whomever, your social media feed will be filled with scouting reports from people who either have credibility, or are attempting to get credibility. Because of this, you have to take scouting reports with a grain of salt. But it got us wondering on the John Kincade Show, what would our draft profiles look like?

So we decided to do something bold and have “fun”. We decided to create draft profiles for everyone on the show (John Kincade, Bob Cooney, Pat Egan, Eric Camille, Connor Thomas.) Now I (Pat) created all the profiles for the show EXCEPT the one for me. The “Pat Egan” draft profile was done by Bob Cooney. But everyone on the show did their own draft profiles, so I encourage you to listen to the full show podcast to hear each person on the shows breakdown of their co-workers. For those that heed this advice, the profiles were done at 6:30, 7:30, 8:30, and 9:30.

So here is the breakdown of how draftable the members of the John Kincade show are.

• BOB COONEY: 

  BOB IS LISTED AT 6’2 WEIGHING 178 POUNDS BUT HE MEASURED IN AT HIS PRO DAY AT 5’11 AND WEIGHED IN AT A HUSKY 192. IT WAS A CONCERN THAT HE SPOKE HIGHLY OF HIS GAME BUT WOULD NOT ACTUALLY PLAY OR PARTICIPATE IN DRILLS. SAYING “I’VE BEEN THERE AND DONE THAT”. HE TALKS ABOUT WANTING TO PLAY BUT HIS DEDICATION TO THE SPORT IS IN QUESTION. HOWEVER HE IS POPULAR AMONGST HIS TEAMMATES AND WAS DUBBED “THAT GUY” AMONG THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN IN A LOCKER ROOM WITH HIM. RED FLAG WHEN WE TRIED TO TAKE HIM TO DINNER AND HE, INSTEAD, SUGGESTED LUNCH. HE THEN BROUGHT HIS HANGER ONS WITH HIM FOR A FREE MEAL. OVERALL SEEMS LIKE A QUALITY INDIVIDUAL WITH A GOOD HEART BUT COMES WITH QUESTIONABLE CHARACTER FLAWS.

  PLAYER COMPARISON:

  DANNY WATKINS

• ERIC CAMILLE: 

  A MYSTERY WRAPPED IN AN ENIGMA AND HE PREFERS IT LIKE THAT. TEAMMATES COULDN’T TELL US ANYTHING ABOUT THE MANS CHARACTER BECAUSE HE REFUSED TO SPEND ANY MORE TIME WITH THEM THAN HE WAS CONTRACTUALLY OBLIGATED TO. QUESTIONABLE DEDICATION AS HE WAS ONCE LATE FOR A 7PM GAME THINKING THAT IT STARTED AT 8PM. ALSO MADE FOLKS IN THE BUILDING VERY UNCOMFORTABLE AS HE WOULD ROUTINELY REPEAT THAT HE QUOTE “LOVED THE BIG WEINER”. ONE TEAMMATE SAID “THATS A DUDE WHO WOULD WALK INTO A BATHROOM WITH 15 EMPTY STALLS AND DECIDE TO PEE RIGHT NEXT TO YOU.” ATHLETICALLY HE HAS GREAT FOOT WORK, AND HES BUILT LIKE A SACK OF 100 YAMS. BUT HE WAS TAKEN OFF OUR DRAFT BOARD AFTER OUR PRE DRAFT VISIT WHEN WE COULD AUDIBLY HEAR A WOMEN YELLING FOR HELP IN HIS BASEMENT AND THE PROSPECT ROUTINELY DISMISSED IT AS “NOTHING, THAT’S JUST THE TV”.

  PLAYER COMPARISON:

  DENNIS RODMAN MIXED WITH OJ SIMPSON MINUS THE TALENT. 

• CONNOR THOMAS:

  BY FAR THE MOST CONFIDENT PLAYER IN THE DRAFT. THE KIND OF GUY WHO WALKS INTO A ROOM AND HIS TAIL HAS ALREADY BEEN THERE FOR AN HOUR. THE ISSUE HOWEVER IS TALENT. HES A 7TH ROUND TAG WHO TOLD US “I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY IM DOING THIS INTERVIEW, YOU GUYS DONT HAVE THE #1 PICK”. IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR INTERVIEW HE CHALLENGED ME TO A BASKETBALL COMPETITION AND PULLED OUT A MINI BALL AND MINI HOOP. HE ALSO CUT OUR INTERVIEW SHORT TO GO MAKE A YOUTUBE VIDEO BECAUSE QUOTE “WHILE YOUR LOCKED ON ME, IM LOCK ON THE PHILLIES AND LOCKED ON GETTING THIS MONEY”. EXTREMELY DELUSIONAL BUT SOMEONE WE NEED. HIS RUDY LIKE UNBRIDLED ENTHUSIASM WILL PUSH THE VETS BUT HIS ACT WILL WEAR THIN QUICKLY AND WE WILL LIKELY HAVE TO MOVE HIM BEFORE HIS ROOKIE CONTRACT IS UP.

  PLAYER COMPARISON

  JOSE CANSECO DELUSION WITH JALEN REAGOR TYPE TALENT.

• JOHN KINCADE:

  INTELLIGENCE IS OFF THE CHARTS. GREAT WITH NUMBERS AND STATS AND WOULD TELL US ALL THE STATS AND INFO THAT WOULD MAKE HIM A HIGH PICK. HE WAS ALSO DILIGENT AND MADE SURE WE PROCESSED ALL THESE STATS BY REPEATING THEM 3-4 TIMES. VERY DILIGENT AND TIMELY. SHOWED UP 35 MINUTES EARLY FOR OUR INTERVIEW AND WAS ANNOYED WHEN WE WERE 12 SECONDS LATE. BUT THATS A GOOD THING AS HE WILL HOLD OTHERS. ALSO GOT GOOD REPORTS BACK FROM PREVIOUS COACHES THAT SAID HE LIVED IN THE FILM ROOM. QUOTE “HE WOULD ALWAYS BRING UP WHAT HE SAW ON FILM TO THE POINT WHERE WE WONDERED IF ALL HE DID WAS WATCH GAME TAPE.” RED FLAGS WERE ABUNDANT THOUGH. HAS AN UNHEALTHY OBSESSION WITH SHAQ. ALSO LOVED TELLING US ABOUT HIS MORNING SHOWER AND ASKED WHAT WATER HEATER WE HAD IN THE FACILITY. HAD ISSUES WITH AUTHORITY AS HE TOLD FORMER COACHES TO “SHOVE IT”. A LOT. AS FOR ATHLETIC ABILITY, THERE WAS NONE TO BE SEEN. HE WADDLED HIS WAY TO A 10.7 40 TIME. BEST SUITED TO BE IN THE FRONT OFFICE, AND NOT ON THE FIELD.

  PLAYER COMPARISON:

  RUDI FROM THE BAD NEWS BEARS

• Pat Egan

  Don’t let the 5-3, 138-pound frame fool you. Wrapped in that diminutive package is a moody competitor who is not afraid. to voice and opinion, no matter how outlandish it may seem. He has a hockey mentality, which is good in that he’s not afraid to mix it up and talk trash with anyone around. Sometimes caught off guard at the snap witha slow trigger finger, but makes up for it with his lack of speed. Seems to perform better as the day goes on as he is somewhat of a late riser. His humor will be a welcomed addition in any locker room. Has an uncanny ability to agitate and humor, sometimes in the same conversation. Probably not a first round pick if you’re going with just the eye test, but once you dig deeper, he proves to be a middle rounder. And speaking of eyes, any team gutsy enought to select Egan will have to make sure he has proper eye care.

  PLAYER COMPARISON:

  Boston Scott

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