Fanatic Knockout Odds- Which Fanatic Employee Will Win It All?

There are sports moments you dream of as a child. 

Coming up to bat with a chance to win the World Series. Throwing a go-ahead touchdown pass in the Super Bowl. Scoring a game-winning goal in your goal-scoring sport of choice. 

And then, there’s sports moments you dream of as an adult. 

Laughing in the face of a loudmouth radio host after ending their run in Knockout on the 76ers’ floor. 

On Wednesday, March 25th, 97.5 The Fanatic will hold its postgame knockout tournament on the Wells…er…Xfinity Mobile Arena floor following the Philadelphia 76ers-Chicago Bulls game. 

For the past three seasons, I have put together odds on every Fanatic staff member participating to win the staff contest. It is also a shock to me that they have kept me around that long. 

Every year I have to pass along this important disclaimer: These are strictly odds reflective of my co-workers’ ability to put a round ball in a hoop. This is not personal. Outside of Bill Colarulo, I enjoy the presence of all my co-workers and wish them the best of luck. 

Speaking of Bill, he did win the tournament last year. There was some foul play (i.e. him knocking my ball away to allow for the person behind me to get the ball and knock me out), but I’ve put that aside since it’s not the most obnoxious thing he’s ever done (the singing is #1). 

Bill will not be partaking in this year’s event, thus ensuring there will not be a repeat champion and only one potentially insufferable champion (Connor Thomas) amongst our staff. 

Connor’s quest for another title will not be the biggest storyline, however. Can either Jon Marks and Sean Brace reign supreme in their Fanatic return? Will Ricky Bottalico find a creative new way to get angry when he’s knocked out? Can Andrew Salciunas display his summer hoops abilities in the spring? 

What will happen? 

Well, that’s why we shoot free throws. 

It pays to have done it before. Connor did win it all in 2023 and has built a solid family dynasty with his brother winning the entire thing a few years back as well. Ultimately, Connor’s continual undoing is everyone’s undying desire to see him fail. If that seems harsh, it isn’t. Looking for any sort of humility from Connor on his basketball abilities would be as fruitful as searching for water in the Sahara Desert. That said, if he gets rolling, watch out. 

Austin was the new guy around this time last year, touting an impressive (according to him, at least) pick-up game and kicking around the notion that he may be able to compete at this level. Now knowing what to expect could lead to a second-year leap for the morning show’s digital producer. However, word around the office is that he was not locked in on preparing for the event and could be done in by the competition starting after his usual bedtime. 

Truthfully, I have no idea what B-Gunn is up to nowadays. He doesn’t return my texts, ignores my phone calls and only hangs out with high-class Delcoans. Gunner worked hard ahead of last year’s event and so long as wedding planning hasn’t distracted him too much recently, I think he’s a sneaky good pick to win it all. 

Welcome back Jonny Marks! Over the last few weeks, Jon has mentioned his belief in himself to knock down free throws which could be false bravado or a true acknowledgement of skill. Given my extensive history of dealing with radio hosts, it is usually more of the former than the latter, but we’ll see what he’s got. You have to imagine that there will be some adrenaline kicking in his return to the Fanatic stage and that could carry him a long way.  

I’m starting to reach “wake me up when…” territory with Andrew Salciunas. I’ve had him in the top-3 of the rankings over the last few years and while he didn’t drop that far, I am just more so showing the respect for him having athletic ability. I’ve seen him hoop, he can do it. I’ve also seen the Phillies hit in the regular season. Time to come through in the big moment. 

This is a potential value play. I can’t tell if he’s the type of hoop head who learns from all he watches or if he’s the same chaotic character on the court as he is in real life. There’s about the same chance that he wins it all as it is that he becomes the first person ever to be called for a charge in Fanatic Knockout history. Entertainment guaranteed. 

The events guru who was a key figure in organizing everything that has to do with this event. That means he could have enough power to influence the results. I’m not saying that BP could rig this thing, but I know he’d do just about anything for content. If this was a belly-bucking contest, he’s the favorite. Unfortunately for him, it is not. 

So I’m biased in the wrong way when it comes to my own chances. I’ve finished in the top-5 of the Knockout tournament in each of my three years at the Fanatic. I’ve knocked out Ricky Bottalico, Sylvana Kelleher, Brendan Gunn and Dylan MacKinnon among others. I should be a favorite, but unfortunately I know too much. I was a disaster at the free throw line at the Liacouras Center a few weeks ago and a man only gets so many Linsanity runs in his life. 

Dylan has made some impressive runs in his long tenure at the Fanatic. The issue is that he’s become too enamored with the lifestyle and forgotten about the game itself. He’s been so locked into storylines (hating me) and his style (Jackie Moon costume) over the last two years that it’s come back to cost him. Sources close to the situation indicate he’s trying to rediscover his pure love for the game, but we’ll believe it when we see it. 

It’s hard to blame Sylvana for a lack of fire to win this thing. She’s surrounded constantly by an arrogant host who believes he’s better than defending his title and former big leaguer who will certainly be focused on MLB Opening Day instead of the task at hand. How much can your environment impact your ability to knock down a free throw? Seems like a lot. 

I wrote this about Matt Minarik last year 

Matt is honestly just too nice of a guy to win. He cares too much about the office morale to make someone have a bad night and he is too locked in on making sure his family has a nice time at the game. You have to respect that about a guy. That, and the fact that there was not much memorable about his previous performances in knockout, is enough to put him at long odds.  

It still fits. 

Debut Knockout appearance for Shukri, who joined the station within the last year. He’s an absolute wildcard for this competition as I don’t think I have ever seen Shukri do anything involving athleticism since we became co-workers. The real reason for his appearance this low on the list is due to his status as a hockey guy. In my experience, the hockey diehards tend to struggle on the hardwood. Skates can’t save you here. 

Speaking of hockey guys who have disappointed in previous iterations of the knockout tournament, we have Mike Vito. It’s important to note that this man is indeed my boss and I got a little out of hand in my criticism of him last season. Therefore, I am stopping at that first line and allowing you all to draw your own conclusions about why I would list my boss this low on the list. 

Apparently, I was a “bad guy” for referring to Sean Rodman as “vertically challenged” ahead of last year’s tournament. Now, he’s claiming to have an “ankle injury” and I’m using “airquotes” too much. Rodman is listed as questionable for the competition and highly improbable to win. 

This is all I have to say: